ex·pose ( k-sp z )
tr.v. ex·posed, ex·pos·ing, ex·pos·es
1. To subject or allow to be subjected to an action, influence, or condition: exposed themselves to disease; exposed their children to classical music.
Today, I’m feeling funny, but not in that humorous way. Today, I’m what I normally call “Soul Tired”- which means I have to eat healthier, feast on the Goodness of Jesus more intentionally.
Emotions are interesting. I use to think they were bad due to a few bad days and a terrible misreading of the expression “We don’t go by how we feel”.
Emotions are good. Positive and negative, emotions are good. Emotions are the affective state of consciousness in which we experience all of life. They are the means by which we tangibly feel relationship and connection to people, place, and things.
So today, my emotions are funny.
When I feel uncertain, I feel vulnerable and like most people, I’m not a huge fan of vulnerability. Vulnerability is staying open even when people are, as Brett would say, “touching the broken”.
When we were children and we got a splinter in our hand, it hurt. But we’d fight the person trying to get it out because we thought that would hurt worse, even though the only way for it to heal was to remove the thing that doesn’t belong.
Well, I feel like someone is touching the broken, and I know that its Holy Spirit trying to remove the “splinter” from my soul, but never the less, I’m holding my breath like that’s somehow going to help. (Blogger’s note: One should not hold their breath to deal with pain… it leads to passing out, which leads to more pain.)
Vulnerability has this nakedness about it. This exposing of things you never wanted to be; or things you never wanted others to see. So I feel like my heart is exposed when I’m vulnerable like one can see my raw influence, my condition. Right where I am, right now, I’m feeling exposed. But as true as that is, it’s in this that I became aware that my exposure, stems from His exposure.
He exposed Himself on the cross for me. He painted a picture of glorious vulnerability, blissful exposure when he allowed himself to be subject to the condition of uncertainty; in order that I might be gloriously vulnerable, blissfully exposed to the condition of His certainty His sonship. When I stand in the reality that exposure was never a bad thing that my vulnerability allows me to be subject to His life- his joy, and peace, it makes uncertainty seem more certain.
So, today I’ve been listening to the Fray for hours…. And if you know me, you can draw your own conclusion from that.
I’m not saying, that I’m now certain of the plan or what I’m doing. But I’m saying that I’m blissfully exposed to the influence of Goodness- and that’s certain to bear fruit.